Territorial
by poisonesse
Summary: Valkyrie and Skulduggery encounter an old flame of Valkyrie's, and Skulduggery doesn't seem too happy about it. Oneshot.


**Territorial**

It was while they were walking through Haggard's only public park that she experienced it- the single most embarrassing encounter of her life.

It was a rare day off for Valkyrie. Dublin's criminal network seemed to have decided to let her rest, if only for a day, and if during the one time in the year that her parents weren't around for her to spend it with. They'd gone away, flown over to their villa in France, and had taken Alice and the reflection with them. Valkyrie had the house to herself, and, after two hours of mindless boredom, had decided to call Skulduggery and hang out with him. They'd spent an hour talking in her room before Valkyrie decided that she was, once again, bored, and decided they should go on a walk in the park.

Which, as it happens, turned out to be possibly the worst decision that she had ever made. Because while they were walking in the park, she happened to run into an old friend. An old _school _friend. An old school friend whom she had, at a time, been _very _close to.

Gary Price didn't seem to notice her at first, and so she used this to her advantage and ducked her head, letting her dark hair fall around her face like a curtain, hopefully obscuring her features from view. _Please don't let him see me, please don't let him see me, please don't let him see me, _she chanted in her mind.

If Skulduggery noticed her suddenly bizarre behaviour, he didn't say anything, much to his credit. He merely kept walking, although now Valkyrie was almost certain that she could feel his bemused stare drilling holes into her skull. She ignored him and stared at the floor, refusing to lift her gaze until she was certain that they were out of the danger zone. Just a few more steps. Just a few more-

"Stephanie? Stephanie Edgely?"

Valkyrie cursed under her breath, then sighed, a hesitant and probably unconvincing smile forming on her face. "Gary," she said, not bothering to make herself sound as enthusiastic as he did. "Hi."

"Oh my God," he said, grinning and walking towards her. He looked the same as he had when they were in school together, except... not. He'd grown in height and his features had matured considerably. His jaw was stronger and his teeth were whiter, and she was pretty sure that the mess of dark hair that stood up on his head was ninety eight percent gel. It was almost as big as Fletcher's, even. "Stephanie, hi. It's been ages, hasn't it?"

_Not long enough, _she thought. "Too long," she said.

"Like, nearly four years now," he continued, looking thoughtful. And then that grin was back on his face. "You look fantastic, Steph!"

She nodded, and didn't return the compliment. She noticed Gary's gaze go to Skulduggery, stood silently- and confusedly- by her side, watching the exchange with some interest. She didn't want to introduce them. That would be the single worst thing for her to do, at this moment in time. She felt herself open her mouth, heard the words, "Gary, this is Skulduggery Pleasant," come out of her mouth, and inwardly cursed herself for falling into the trap of social politeness.

Gary nodded, the smile now looking a little dimmer, and held out his hand for Skulduggery to shake. Skulduggery merely looked at it, then looked at Valkyrie and said, "Who is this?"

She sighed. "Skulduggery, this is Gary Price. He was my..." she hesitated, looking for a word other than _boyfriend _or _first kiss_, "friend, in school."

Gary laughed suddenly, one of the strangest laughs that Valkyrie had ever heard. It was like a chipmunk had taken acid, swallowed helium and then had a seizure. "Friends? Oh, come on, Steph, I think we were a little more than that," he said, and Valkyrie felt a little piece of her soul break off and wither into a thousand different pieces.

Skulduggery's head tilted a little to the side. "Ah," he said simply.

Then Gary got this look on his face, like he'd come to a sudden realisation, and his eyes were wide as he looked between them. "Oh, God, have I just made things awkward between you? I mean, are you two..." he trailed off, gesturing between them with his hands, looking vaguely distressed on the surface, but Valkyrie could see the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He'd always been a little prankster, had Gary Price. She knew that he was enjoying whatever he thought he was doing.

"No, we're not," Valkyrie said flatly.

At the same time, Skulduggery said, "Yes, we are."

They looked at each other. Valkyrie looked horrified, while Skulduggery's false face only looked innocent, and mildly amused. She whipped her head around to look at Gary and then laughed, a laugh that sounded distressed and awkward even to her own ears. Discreetly, her foot moved over to Skulduggery's, and she stomped, hard. Skulduggery didn't even flinch. She felt his arm move so it was around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him, and she shot him the most fierce glare she could muster. What was this, humiliate-a-Valkyrie day?

"I see," Gary said, eyebrows raised and that annoying smile _still _on his face. He looked at Valkyrie and chuckled. "Well, I see it hasn't taken _you _long to move on."

She frowned. "We haven't talked for four years. We haven't dated for nine. If you're looking at it that way, Gary, it's taken me bloody ages to move on."

Gary blinked, then shrugged, fazed but making an effort not to show it. He glanced between her and Skulduggery, whose shoulders she could feel shaking light against hers. He was enjoying this game as much as Gary was, apparently, though his façade was straight-faced. "So," Gary said, "how long have you two been together?"

"Nine years," Skulduggery said, and Valkyrie groaned.

Gary's eyes widened and he looked at Valkyrie in surprise. "_What_?"

"He's joking," Valkyrie said through gritted teeth, as she stomped on Skulduggery's foot again. "He's such a jokester. Tell him you're joking, Skul."

"I'm always trying to make her laugh," Skulduggery said with a nod, smiling innocently. "And succeeding, a hundred percent of the time. Did you make her laugh often, Gary?"

"Um," Gary said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess?"

"That doesn't sound promising."

Gary stared. "I-"

"It sounds like I'm a better boyfriend than you were, Gary. No wonder she came running to me right after you broke up."

"_Skulduggery,_" Valkyrie said, exasperated. She pulled away from his grip- only slightly, though, as he refused to let her go completely and she certainly wasn't strong enough to break that iron grip of his yet- to stare at him disapprovingly. "Be _nice._" She looked back to Gary. "He's just being annoying. Ignore everything he says."

"Well," Gary said brightly, sounding more cheerful than he looked. He wasn't smiling any more, and in fact looked like he could cry. His gaze was fixed solely on Valkyrie now. "It's been nice catching up, Steph, but I've really got to run. I'll, uh, see you around... maybe." With that, he turned around and practically ran away from them, back the way that he had come.

Valkyrie watched him go, torn between feeling relieved at his departure, or furious at Skulduggery's shenanigans. She settled for the latter, and tore herself out of his skeletal grip so she could stand opposite him, hands on her hip and tapping her foot impatiently against the grass. "What the hell was that?" she demanded, glaring.

Skulduggery hesitated. "I didn't like him."

"Why the hell were you pretending to be my _boyfriend_?" she continued. "What the hell is wrong with you? What made you-" she stopped suddenly, right in the middle of her tirade, and a look of understanding slowly dawned upon her face. A mischievous grin sprung up on her face, and she tilted her head to the side smugly. "_Oh."_

Immediately, Skulduggery's stance grew defensive. "What?"

"_Oh,_" she repeated slyly. "_I _know why you were acting so territorial."

"Territorial?"

"Skulduggery, are you _jealous_?"

"No," he replied immediately, a stubborn note in his voice as he crossed his arms and looked away.

She laughed and clapped her hands together. "You _were_! Oh, my God, Skulduggery Pleasant is _jealous _of a twenty two year old boy. That's... that's _hilarious._"

"I was not jealous," he said flatly. There was a tinge of pink on his false cheeks, something that Valkyrie noticed with much delight.

"_Nine years,_" she mimicked with an amused snort. "_I'm a better boyfriend than you were_. You know when dogs pee on the things that they want to mark as their own? Is that what you were just doing, Skulduggery?"

"Nonsense," he said, chin lifted high in the air. "I didn't pee on you once in that interaction."

She laughed, and they started walking again. After more teasing, Valkyrie looked fondly at Skulduggery and said, "You didn't need to be jealous, you know."

He glanced at her in surprise. "I'm sorry?"

"Gary Price is a smug git who I shared one kiss and one sort-of relationship with when I was thirteen years old," she elaborated. "I'm not exactly going to running after him after one encounter in a public park."

"I wasn't jealous," Skulduggery said, though there was a small smile on his face now.

"You so were," she said, and she hooked her arm through his, grinning. "But that's fine. I'm not going to hold it against you. You can pee on me all you want." She paused, and made a face. "I mean... hypothetically. Not... don't pee on me, Skulduggery."

"I'm a skeleton. That would be quite impossible."

She shot him a weird look. "Well, I'd hope that you wouldn't pee on me anyway," she said, and laughed.

He sighed and looked down at her, an oddly fond expression on his façade. "You really are something else, Valkyrie," he said.

She grinned at him and squeezed his arm. "Well," she said, keeping the happy butterflies out of her voice and waggling her eyebrows at her best friend. "Duh."

**A/N: My brain is doing weird things. I wanted to write Valduggery fluff. I did. The result is possibly not what I intended. I hope I didn't make them too out of character, especially towards the end. Let me know what you think in a review!  
-Heather**


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